Fury of the Lightning Hammer
by ValaRose
Summary: Re-formatted Thor is vain and selfish. He took for granted the only woman he ever truly loved. Can he make up for his past actions? Rated M for later chapters, please read and review.


Hey guys thanks to you comments I reformatted this story with a few tiny extras.

Please read and review.

I do not own any characters other than my own oc

I was young, I was a fool.

To take for granted what I had. I am no hero, nothing more than a hammer of fury and pride. War, the clash of steal, the thrill of battle made me feel alive the way nothing else did. I felt nothing unless I was on the field of battle, my mighty hammer roaring down all the forces of the heavens to smite my enemies. In time no banquet could take from me the hunger, no wine would quench the thirst that the dawn of a new battle would bring. To call down the power of lightning, to command it, to bend it too my will and use the magnificent destruction of Mjolnir gave my arrogant young life meaning and filled an emptiness inside that I never quite understood.

No woman in my bed gave me that pleasure, except one. She, with golden red hair that flowed down the curve of her back, and there was no one, other than she, who could surpass me upon the bloodied plains of War. She was my Rowan. Even she, my little red one, could not fill the emptiness I felt in my heart. Ego drove my away beloved, I was cruel and cold, I threw her love back at her time and time again. But when the loneliness of night came she would soothe my darkening heart, I would lay upon her lap as she stroked my hair and sang softly, snatches of old tunes until my eyes grew heavy and I would drift off into undisturbed slumber. In the morning awaking refreshed with her sleeping soundly in my arms, that I would look upon her with all the love in my heart, but when she would open her dazzling emerald eyes and smile up at me, with such a smile that would radiate across her perfect porcelain face, I could not bare her adoration. I would dismiss her coldly, look upon her with such a loathing, that the light in her eyes would die, I would watch tears pool and spill from her perfect eyes and would sneer. I hated that this perfect creature, so strong on the battlefield and yet so fragile in her heart could love me.

That morning I left her naked wrapped in my bed sheets, broken and alone and never looked back, never again did I seek comfort in her warm arms. In the weeks and months that followed, she would no longer look me in the eyes, I wanted to apologize but my macho inflated ego would not allow it, she was no more than a plaything to be discarded when I became bored of her. Instead I watched her become pale and fragile, and yet she would ride out with the Valkyries to guide the honorable fallen to Valhalla on my orders.

She never knew how much I loved her, I never told her.

She never told me her dark secret that she shared with my brother Loki, she was too afraid of my fury to ever entrust in me the secret so close to her broken heart.

It was I who was to blame when she fell in combat.

She, my flawless Rowan, gave her life to save my worthless existence. Frost Giants of Jotunheimr infiltrated Asgurd, I along with the Warriors Three, Sif and Rowan battled against our foes. With its sheer strength one of the Giants managed to knock Mjolnir from my grip, death seemed certain as he closed in, ice sword raised for the kill when Rowan, herself weary from battle, forced herself between me and the vicious ragged blade, pushing me from harms way. The blade sank deep into her chest, blood poured from her parted lips as she gasped in vain for breath.

I have never felt the rage build in me as it did as I watched my beloved fall to the ground. White hot anger boiled my blood, my vision was blurred as I called to Mjolnir, and with one mighty swing decapitated my enemy. Time seemed to slow, the Giants had been defeated and lay dead all around us. I knelt beside her amongst the carnage,

"Rowan... Hold on... I "

tears stung my eyes as I watched her bloodied lips smile, her eyes seemed to sparkle, she took my hand in hers. I remember how cold it felt, not like all of those times she lay in my bed, her body warm next to mine.

She struggled to speak, "Thor, I never stopped loving you..." She closed her eyes and breathed with difficulty, tears rolled from her eyes staining her cheeks.

She mustered what little strength she had left to pull the silver necklace from her neck, with its triqetra pendant, she placed it into my hand and closed hers around it. Hot tears seared my eyes as the light began to fade slowly from those beautiful emerald eyes, I did not understand why she had given me the pendant until she pulled back her once brown cloak, now drenched in her blood. I gasped as she revealed to me that she was with child. My anger began to build again, how could she give her life and her child's life for mine?

"Why?!" I demanded of her.

She looked at me, deep into my soul one last time, "I love you." She breathed her last.

I gripped her tight, "No" thought to myself, it became unbearable, my grip tightened on her and from the depths of my very being I let out a guttural roar into the bloody red night

"No, you can not leave me! Rowan I love you!"

Holding onto her I felt something move in her swollen belly. I had know idea my friends had joined me in my despair, I felt Sif's hand upon my shoulder.

"Give me your knife, quick!"

I hoped that it was not to late, taking the knife from her, I ripped open Rowans tunic. My hands began to tremble as I cut into the cold skin of her abdomen, deeper and deeper until the incision was deep enough for me to carefully reach my hands inside. The next sound I heard was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life, the child in my hands began to cry. Rowans tiny child stared up at me, I had no words to describe the resentment I began to feel when I looked upon this little girl, even as she grasped my finger tightly in her tiny hand I felt nothing for her. Rowan was gone, this child in my arms would always serve as a reminder of that. I could no longer bare to look at her anymore, handing her to Sif I lifted Rowans body into my arms and began the walk back to my home. Funeral arrangements had to be made, with no family to speak off it was left to me to make sure the proper rites and traditions were adhered to.

I drank, I drank to easy my guilty conscious, I drank to escape her funeral. As my beloved was making her journey to Valhalla, I lay intoxicated next to a woman who's name I did not know.

I never said my last goodbyes, instead I wallowed in self pity blaming the tiny innocent child that I had cut from her womb for all of my troubles that she would live while her mother dined in Valhalla with the fallen warriors. I was plagued by nightmares of Rowan laying dead in my arms, or endless beautiful dreams of the nights we spent making love.

In a drunken stooper and trying to snap me out of the downward spiral my life had taken Loki told me that the child was mine, that Rowan had confided in him that she was pregnant and that she did not want me to know. It had honestly never occurred to me that she was mine, how could it have been anyone's been the mine. Rowan was not like me, I was the only man she had ever taken to her bed. I had hurt her so badly that she could not bring herself to tell me she was carrying my child, instead she was forced to witness me taking my pleasure in other countless women, her pained words echoed in my ears, " I am nothing more to you but another one of your conquests, one of your nameless whores!"

I refused to believe my brother, I refused to have anything to do with her, to be in the same room as her. Leaving her care to my mother, I kept myself busy keeping our enemies at bay, I lived on auto pilot. Months passed by before I finally held the child.

Our boarders were attacked, I was in the palace when the enemy breached the gates and forced their way inside. My mother was not there and no one else could take the child to safety. I held the tiny bundle in my arms and was amazed to find she had slept though out all of the commotion. It was at that moment the frost in my heart began to thaw as I looked down upon her tiny sleeping form. Her hair was the same golden red of her mother's, she opened her brilliant green eyes and looked up into mine. I felt tears fall as she gripped my finger just as she had when she was born. Her tiny little face broke into a smile that took my breath away, she was her mother's image.

She was my daughter, I do not know how I could ever denied that. " You are beautiful little one."

I told her as I kissed her gently upon the forehead.

It was at that moment I realized two things, one I truly loved my tiny daughter and two she would never be safe here in Asgurd. It was then I made my decision. Wrapping her warmly in a blanket, I made my way to the stables. I could hear that all around me the battle was over and my people had won a victory. I passed my father, as I rode out upon my black stallion, he nodded as if to acknowledge why I was absent from the fight, he knew where I was going and did not try and stop me. With the child clutched to my chest I rode to the Bifrost bridge, giving my child to Heimdall,

"Midgard, she will be safe there."

Using his enchanted sword, Heimdall transformed into a mortal human, with my child in his arms he disappeared in a flash of multicolored light.

"Goodbye, my little Valla."


End file.
